Charlie Harper: ...alcohol is poison.
Jake Harper: Then why do you drink?
Charlie Harper: Because I have things inside of me that I need killed.
Charlie Harper: You know what the problem is? The women, the drinking... you guys look at me and you think it's easy. But what you don't see is all the years of hard work and dedication it took to make me the happy-go-lucky, drunken, ass-wrangler I am today.